Children

I have a little something to say on the subject. I have decided that I cannot stand the creatures. Yes, they are cute. Yes, they are small. Yes, they are our precious future.
HOWEVER!

Ever notice that they seem to be EVERYWHERE?!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I have a few cousins whom I love to death. Not to mention that thought of "Awww I want one!" everytime I see a baby. (It doesn't last long, I promise...It's more of a quick slip of the mind which is quickly replaced by "Ahhh what did I just think to myself?!?!?") But it just seems like there are more and more of them popping up everyday. It is becoming impossible for a group of friends to take a day and go somewhere without having to worry about being trampled upon by tens of thousands of small lifeforms. As Josh observed on one such trip to the zoo, "Woah, I almost sat on a small child." That is just the problem. These kids have absolutely no respect for personal boundaries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're kids. They don't know any better. But really? How do these children, between someone's thought process of "Hey! A bench! Next to the penguins! I'm gonna sit down!" and the act of them actually sitting, have enough time to sneak attack said bench and plop themselves down on it. Not to mention the fact that they pretty much take over EVERYTHING. I know, the zoo is for the young ones. The animals are for them to enjoy. Umm. HELLO? I want to see the animals, too! And not only do I have to stand on my tip-toes to see through the massive sea of mini-humans, but I also have to worry about whether or not the animals are even visible through the millions of tiny handprints, and fistprints, and FACEprints.

Let's be serious here. I ain't blamin' the kids....too much. But hey parents. You see your kids in everyone's way. You see your kids banging on the glass. You see the oversized gorilla with the eyes of death running at your child.
Why don't you do anything?
Not to mention the statues. Those statues they have of all the little animals. The ones that mothers love to shove their kids on so they can take pictures for their Christmas cards. F.Y.I. to all mothers (and fathers for that matter) out there. BIG KIDS LIKE THEIR PICTURES TAKEN, TOO! So yeah, you can take your child's picture all you want. But WHY do you insist upon letting them climb and hang from the statue for fifteen minutes when you KNOW good and well that there is a winding line waiting for your brat to get off. Sure, there are some parents who do the lame attempt. Ex:
Parent: "Okay little Johnny, it's time to get off."
Little Johnny: "No."
Parent: "No, you need to get off there's people waiting."
Little Johnny: "NO!"
Parent: ....
And so, the parent continues to stand there until their child gets bored.
SERIOUSLY?!?
Good luck winning the parent of the year award at Little Johnny's elementary school.

Bottom line?
Children and I do not get along.
Thank you.
Have a pleasant and child free day.